New Year Everyday.

New year has a special meaning to me. It looked upon by million as a passage of button, a new beginning , a time to remember events during the prior year, and a way to look forward to making new memories.

1.I am  usually pretty cautious about my resolution because i really dont want them to limited to just one day. I think everyday should be spent with new goal,a sense of preferred being, the sun begins to set. In other words, not waiting to make the wish and pledges we have in our hearts untill the fireworks  begin exploding at the stroke of midnight.

2.I am about to celebrate my 32 years and have been looking back upon some of my most important moments from 2011.

3. I have enthusiastically engage myself with a career in tourism destination journalism and involved myself full time with poverty alleviation through BEST Society.

The Matunggong Committee, Kudat, North Of Borneo, has turned part of my Rungus tribe family.

Taking Picture for Profile composition

4.I have spread the love of Borneo, specifically Sabah destination through my article write up with Breeze Magazine - A Borneo Premier lifestyle magazine.Thank you Breeze for giving the opportunity to spread the love from Borneo. LINK

Spreading the LOVE OF BORNEO 

5.I have let go some previous bittersweet relationships and started new ones to name a few. And recently, indulging myself with a man who cares, shares the same thought, values and visions of life with me. That feeling is awesome. Sorry no link :) 

6.I have put up my long waited travelling boot, solo travelled and achieved my one month soul searching trip to Italy- Venice, Rome and Geneva, also border of Paris. I have also met Mounia, my favorite girl whom i met during her intern in Sabah. Thank you Sara, my homestay Host family for the great hospitality. Thank you Chef Federico LINK for kind arrangement.  

Photo taken at Burrano, Venice with Sara Michieletto 

1. I have pledge and commit myself to be more health conscious, engage with BFA and try my level best investing in fitness programme ( despite the alcohol i still fail to resist )

BFA Belly Dance performance by Gaya Ballroom Christmas Gathering @kampung Nelayan
It feel so good .

4.Throughout the year, i have made myself right back to myelf and live life full potential.. and finally discover back "THAT SOMETHING" in me.Dont get me wrong, "That Something" is ATTITUDE :)  

That something is ATTITUDE by Paul J Meyer

I am marking down all this, because i remember my 2010 wasn't a fantabulous and it was a pinch of my life. I write to you GIRL, this is for you, to tell you that... there is more to do with that ATTITUDE of yours.

Happy New Year 2012.

Bittersweet Girl- Take it Easy

~ I am writing this at a very low pitch and bittersweet quotes to comfort myself ~ 

You fall for someone once in a while for a reason.. not because you are volatile but because you found the chemistry blend and sparks as it was in physics class of "Twilight".  

(oh well .. anyway.. lets continue)

Most of the time, that person or at least that relationship teachers something;

to be trusting,

to not be trusting,

to be loyal, 

to be caring,

to let go,

to hold on,

to move on,

to speak out,

to forget,

to remember,

to heal....  or if you are lucky..

to be in love.. and the things we take from those relationship are part of the stages to "breakthrough"

So, when people walk away from me, i let them go ( although i refuse) 

i tried to remind myself;

the past was bitter, 

and my destiny can never tied to anyone who leaves me.

Well, it doesn't mean they are bad people.

It just mean that, they are starting a new chapter; and their part in my story is over... 

"Melissa Alut Lim" 

Photo by Joebonaventure with Amber 

First Beach, Tanjung Aru, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. 

Before The Sunrise

Maybe because of my age, i could no more spend a month wages on a midnight dash, for a bottle of Jack Daniel or Black Label, then i can woo a guy i like in his thirties, forties. Not because i don't have the mean to achieve  or pursue a success relationship,but because i don't have any inclination any more.

My past years have been really a drama, i broke up from relationship due to the exact same reasons of life, the variance in passion that consumed the desire of sparks between the two. I was drained and numb by jerks transiting at me, throwing their grievances of past relationship, and as they found someone new, they thank me for being there when they were drawn. The reality and love seems contradicting in my emotion that i feel so numb that there is no pain in me. 

And now, the idea of my best-self has overriding my honourable pride. I have liberate myself from desire. I sway my desire to achievable self satisfaction. I feel alive when what i want is just more then the basic survival need. For example, sometimes a short intimacy or caress from someone i fond of or a pair of new shoes that i am eyeing in a boutique. 

I have created the value in my life.The intrinsic value that i can associate with those whom i can share sufficient history not to have to explain why social media ( Facebook,Blog, linkedin and even  dot com) is part of my life. 

My transition of ' La Vita' - life at Bali, Venice and now Borneo is worth every reference for the volunteering and environmentalist as well as anthropologist to be. I am delightful in seeing my fellow indigenous siblings are enriched in reading the daily bread of mine. An everyday task that is "Living La Vida Loca" 

  

Things Happen for a Reason

I always believe that WORK is the antidote for grief. It sways you away from grievances thought. The "What If situation" and the due date excites you .However sometimes "pulling the horses back" is somewhat the best thing to do, what seems right to you, doesn't seems worth to others... As you looked back, observe and you will realize that those man didn't believe a woman had brain matter at all. 

If i ever have a chance to open up my heart or ever decide to compare it .. you will find that i have more scars then anyone in the room. That is because i have fallen down and gotten up so many times in my life.Perhaps this is another "Pink Paradigm" shift.. and another tales of overcame greater obstacles of every kind to achieve independence, fulfillment and greater self-esteem. And yes.. another chapter is close for the pinnacle of life.  

When Harmonious blend in-HITCH !

On the other side of the stories, i received a long waited wedding card from a long lost friend Elaine Adam and Mike :)

"May you love and hold each other in the worst of times with trust, faith and belief;

hoping the best for you on your auspicious wedding"

Congratulations Elaine & Mike on your wedding day

30th January 2011

And so i kneel ~ to Lord Ganesha

Dear God,

Please intervene and help me end this memories.

I have failed at my utmost career and now i am failing in my relationship.

This poisonous process is bringing suffering to me and to everyone who cares about me...

God,

I recond that i am new to you, and you are very busy with wars and tragedies and much larger conflict then the ongoing dispute of one dysfunctional " Melissa Alut Lim" which is me..

but it is my understand that the health of the planet is affected by the health of

every individual on it..

God,

As long as even two souls are locked in conflict the whole of the world is contaminated by it.

Similarly, if even one of the souls can be free from discord, this will increase the freedom of oneself...

God,

it is my most humble request...

i pray and urge your blessing,

If we are not meant to be,

please give me the strength,

to forget for what he has done, good or bad, sweet or bitter...

So there will be just little bit less animosity and bitterness in a world that is already far too troubled by suffering.

I thank you GOD for your kind attention...

Respectfully,

Melissa Lim

Grasping this reality, i drop my knees, press my forehead against the floor. There i offer up the universe a fervent prayer of thanks.

First in English,

Then in Mandarin,

and last.... just to get the point across..... in Sanskrit....

Shakira Illegal

Who would have thought

that you could hurt me,

The way you have done it,

So deliberate, so determined.

Since you have been gone,

i've bite my nails for days and hours,

And question my own question on and on...

So tell me now, tell me now,

Why are you so far away?

When i m still so close.

You dont even know the meaning of the words i m sorry,

you said you would love me untill you die,

as far as i know you are still alive, baby..

You dont even know the meaning of the words i'm sorry,

I m starting to believe, its illegal to deceive a womans heart.

I tried so hard to be attentive, all you wanted,

Always supportive, always patient, what did i do wrong?

Wondering for days and hours,

Its clear, isnt here where you belong...

Anyhow, anyhow,

i wish you both all the best,

I hope you get along

You dont even know the meaning of the words i m sorry,

you said you would love me untill you die,

as far as i know you are still alive, baby..

You dont even know the meaning of the words i'm sorry,

I m starting to believe, its illegal to deceive a womans heart.

Open heart, open heart,

It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart,

Open heart, open heart,

It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart.....

Shakira..